We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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