did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
