Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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