Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
