I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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