He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
