hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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