My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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