u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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