Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
