you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wish there were birth control emojis
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize