marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
