it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
