And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I won the penis lottery.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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