She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
