I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize