one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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