It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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