my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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