I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
