Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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