Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
