My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
