She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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