I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Someone came in the potted fern
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
