So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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