Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
