Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
did you just send me my own nude
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
