Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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