Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
