I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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