You really coming over, don't trick.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
