Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think I am morally bankrupt
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
