2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
