He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
