This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
