last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
pray to the hookup gods
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
