did you get engaged???
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
