This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
