You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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