Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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