If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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