Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
