It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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