dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
