I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
