I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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