Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
