my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
