Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize