Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize