THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
