I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
