I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
