fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize