how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
