it hurts more in the daytime
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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