Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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